Cate, this is truly a terrific piece. What I find so interesting is that your advice here really applies to more than just leadership and work situations. Your question, "Where is the line between genuinely helpful and self-erasing?" is a question many, especially women in midlife, could benefit from asking.
"...Pleaser because we want to feel needed and valued, but then we show up as the worst version of ourselves because we are overwhelmed and overcommitted." And then how it overtakes our values.... convicting. Helpful insight to let go of the Pleaser because I see the damage it does to what I truly care about.
A good climate will allow for people being vulnerable while also fostering accountability. Other colleagues may be able to assist besides the manager (I prefer the term, leader) and clear communication can provide feedback when someone needs to grow. Lots of good things you address in your piece!
Cate, this is truly a terrific piece. What I find so interesting is that your advice here really applies to more than just leadership and work situations. Your question, "Where is the line between genuinely helpful and self-erasing?" is a question many, especially women in midlife, could benefit from asking.
Thanks, Cindy! As a woman in midlife, I affirm this! 😀
"...Pleaser because we want to feel needed and valued, but then we show up as the worst version of ourselves because we are overwhelmed and overcommitted." And then how it overtakes our values.... convicting. Helpful insight to let go of the Pleaser because I see the damage it does to what I truly care about.
The Pleaser is tricky because it disguises itself as something good - helping people around us. So hard to find the line between the two.
Cate, this one REALLY hit home for me - read it today and was the perfect way to start my day. Thanks for the tips at the end too, used them!
Thanks, Sarah. It’s a problem for me as well! Taking my own advice this week for sure.
Such a good reminder. Sometimes the best thing a manager can do is step back a little.
It's a delicate balance, for sure.
A good climate will allow for people being vulnerable while also fostering accountability. Other colleagues may be able to assist besides the manager (I prefer the term, leader) and clear communication can provide feedback when someone needs to grow. Lots of good things you address in your piece!
True, Steve. It's a delicate chain and every piece is important for trust.
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Being the Pleaser will leave you depleted and rob your team of the opportunity to develop.
So true! We think we're being helpful, but we're stunting their growth.
Oh yes… thank you for this piece.